New challenges

Roaming is something I missed doing, being stuck in one place for almost two years begins to grate on one. Specially if you led, then led again to leave leadership and return to a normal post. This is what happened and I don't really mind, I will forever know the innerworkings but I have realised that due to my current attitude I am no Walker. I went Caster and have happily stayed there wiling away my days, inputting when I needed to input helping out when I needed to help. Also at my present state of being in a rutt and being flawed, I am no leader and thus require no such role to occupy my time.

What does a demon do with too much time on her hands?

Prey has been in short supply as of late, since I am no longer bound to the island so I spent time in LA. Here I have had the fortune of new challenges, new foes, new admirers and new enemies to get to grips with. I have grown to feel I belong in this shell's family and thus I have stayed, the officiers and the leaders are all well tuned in to eachother. Something that a good family has well oiled team, reminds me of the family back home. Yeah... Toxia is still home in my view, LA is like a good vacation.

Brutality is a thing I am familar with its been all around me, I also have had the oppurtunity to deliver my own brand of pain upon the grand total of two victems so far. That and I scare the hell out of a couple of neko girls, two brand new scare toys for me to harress for my own amusement. Never judge a book by its cover, they found that out when I went full demon on their asses.

Chaos, blood, violence I find it here in great abundence, there is always a task to do if we so wish to do so when we're bored. Over the last few days I have fed well, the overload making my mind break in to its insanity. I have noticed also during my stay here that Dr.Stein is a very busy man, not only does he have the blonde thing to look after but he does a great amount of work for the undead here. Keeping them together mostly but he has competation from the flesh crafters in the ranks, regular ole medicine and experimenation verus the magikal art of crafting flesh. I much prefer a blade and my hands to do my work, I always was a hands on kinda girl its about to get me in to trouble.

That poor human girl I tore apart, she's now in the ranks of undead. Oh my the future will be fun, first I have to deal with the full moon if I step foot in LA tonight.

New Year's Eve... Full moon... Dendra wants out...

Lulz of the day:

[13:03] Nebiros Outlander would point out if his mouth is occupied, he cant sing.
[13:08] Celtic Destiny has the decision made then
[13:09] Blueray Darkes shoves a sock in Neb's mouth
[13:09] Blueray Darkes: See? Now its occupied
[13:10] Celtic Destiny: ?me thinks Blue is juust the shit from this point on and forever
[13:10] Blueray Darkes laughs

New land!

I was freed from Toxian City!

Stein and me we broke open my chest, tore out my heart and for the first time I could see it was black. Tampered with. Filling a jar with my own blood we placed the heart in to it, I entrusted myself to the doctor. Destroying my shell afterwards as I had dragged all the essence out of it, I will not be bound to this island anymore I needed more freedom.

My will is to serve the House, my desire to be all that I can, to be strong in all ways, I can not imagine why I trusted Stein to do this for me. He more than likely wanted to dissect the organ, to be fascinated by the way it would mend itself. Only other I would have trusted to take my heart anywhere would have been Pieter, but he never leaves the city and I like this human. Even if he is a monster.

Stein did his work in flipped out crazy mode, I could hear him as I beat inside the jar simply waiting. He spoke to me in that insane way he has when he's slipped, my blood on his hands falling between his fingers as he held my heart in his palms. I could feel myself seeping through his pores, burning a path to his brain infecting him with the madness I carry. In this state as just an organ with all but a little of sensory feeling lost, I had other ways to feel my enviroment and different ways to feel things. He placed me inside the body of a dead lycan, oh hell familar ground for me and I took to it like a duck to water. Fixing myself in place as my blood began the healing, with my weakened state I found I was unable to heal the surgical incision. The doctor got out thread and needle to sow me up neatly, while I spoke with a few members of the lycan's family.

For now I have been wandering around this new city and the delights it will have to offer up to me, I intend to fix the weaknesses that I have in this place to serve where I had no previous ties and where I am unknown. Too long have I had the prestige of respect from once being a Shadow Council member and one of the Seconds In Command, to return to humbler beginings where I had no such leadership and once more follow without expectations. I guess the urge to be where I feel belong to "pack" with others, is a thing I have been unable to kill off even with the months I spent as a demon.

My new playground - City of Lost Angels

My family while I roam here - Archaic Redemption

My future is in my hands, and I promise this. Skyler my brother dear I will always strive to remember my roots, to remember that people are tools and the way I used to use them. Hitaroki my friend and so much more, I will reach that full potential that you and others tell me I can achieve.

Let the cycle begin once more a new, in the body of a lycan called Dendra. Don't worry crazy little thing, we will be one completely and undeniably you will be mine.

Lulz of the day:

Do not give Blueray sugar and caffiene, the hyperactivity on skype scares the shit out of you!

Spiraling in to insanity

I never thought I'd go as far to say, I think I am mad completely mad. In this moment of lucidity I will write this entry, before I end up sinking back in to the insanity that has claimed me. There has been far too much chaos recently, I feed on it to fuel myself but I can't stop the intake I'm overfed. My own blood I think is also finally affecting me, the madness that it causes when in those not immune is now consuming my mind. I also got sucked in to this portal where the Toxic Queen was coming out from, that place where she is so fractured and chaotic I was overloaded to the point of losing my own mind.

Also hanging around with crazy people doesn't help me at all, Stein is rubbing off on me everytime I find myself stable he cracks and I go back in to the abyss alongside him. Two god damn lunatics one who thrives on all things medical, the other a hellbent creature intent on destroying the living things around them in any way possible. What a wonderful combination, with no boundries placed on me at all my violence leaks out more than usual.

~I want to break you~

I understand what Janvier meant by the weakness of the mind, for each of his children it has been different from himself. I can now recall the mental states that affected them all, accept Picket was always sort of nutty anyway. I suppose now that insanity is contagious, I'll enjoy this new wave of freedom and explore it to the fullest. I do love to learn.

The Queen is out and rampaging around the City, her children are out and rampaging. Chaos grows thicker by the second and by the minute, the blood flows along the streets and this madness, this insanity has once more been bought down on us by Dimentox. Why can't that guy stay buried? I don't think I can write anymore, I think I'm going to go back in to the derangement.

~I want to break you~

Lulz of the day:

[19:45] DCS2 2.46.1: Jax Stryker OOC: *makes a mental note*
[19:46] DCS2 2.46.1: Blueray Darkes OOC: *slaps Jax sane*
[19:46] DCS2 2.46.1: Jax Stryker OOC: *...blinks. Has a sudden urge to talk about politics and have a coffee with one sugar and two creams*
[19:47] DCS2 2.46.1: Blueray Darkes OOC: Okay that just made me want to kill you
[19:47] DCS2 2.46.1: Jax Stryker OOC: <3

Round three! DING DING

For whom the bell tolls...

A saying often used for purposes to signal death, either through a battle or natural causes. The bell tolled for me long ago, I mean I'm dead I don't really care about losing my shell. Essence goes to Hell and it can be pulled back, I wonder who would pull me back or could I do it on my own.

Martko challenged me to round three of our little contest, this time he was prepared with a sword imbued with holy power. So I too came prepared on top of the cinema with my own hammer, imbued and tainted with demonic energy and two different forms of blood.

The ultimate clash!

We fought in the pouring rain like kungfu fighting with our weapons, me with my dragon headed hammer and him with his sword. No idea where the rain came from. There was this one moment when we made a shockwave, all pretty colours and a large dust cloud. Watch anime that will give you a good thing to match it up with. Ugh.

Holy weapons hurt thats what they are intended to do, to burn and sear when the wound is already healed. Its never on the surface it sort of lingers inside, to cause agony beyond anything you thought possible. Like the holy water blood from Cid after I tore his face off, my stomach hurt so much that I barely left the Pit for a day and half.

I won this round or did I? I know I won the second one even with a smashed in face, cos I heard he was crying in the church from the visions caused by my blood. I did warn him this time not to make me bleed, I even infected a kitty cat a few days ago serves him right for asking for my blood. HA. Martko I think was more messed up than I was, I crawled home again writhing in pain to the volcano. I rested inside the lava to heal from the holy damage I recieved, til a noisey fucking bike woke me up.

Bloody fucking Imps need to learn their place, specially Imps that are not Shadows.

Lulz of the day:

[23:58] Big Kuhr: I need some badass nipple rings, where do I go to buy em
[23:59] Dracon Dyszel: this is gonna sound so fucked up Big but ask my mom

Quick update.. *sigh*

Yep yep one of those weeks, and damn I'm late at updating again but whatever. Its my journal and I'll update when I want to, simple as that anyone that doesn't like it... I will eat their face like I ate Pilgrim's face.

On to the quick update for whatever I haven't put in here yet.

Maki bit me went crazy from my blood, ate Pilgrim's face and made her sick. Fight with Martko round two, I ended up with a smashed in face and one tenticle missing. On the upside he got my blood on him and went crazy. Fed a vampire some of my blood that she took willingly, had some weird man hunt my ass down and he never found me.

Halloween saw the city people being the polar oppersite of what they were, Pieter was an angel and Kash was Jesus. Doctor Stein was a pimp... Jesus made the nun Suyuan masturbate with a crucifix.

Tom died and went to Hell leaving his shell empty, opened up Hellgate used family members energies and thoughts to get him back. Cursed Suyuan to have a penis and a constant erection, payback for making Kash have a vagina and a period for something he did to her that she enjoyed.

Tangled with Doc. He sought me out for payback and tried to look tough, played it off then the THING interrupted. Stein caught up with me to force me to give him respect, he earned it by all rights and has it now for evermore. Fucking human is agile even when he is healing, bloody bastard that he is.

Feeling of demise sweeps the city's nations, odd behavour from Pix and other individuals. A strange email shows up and some odd writing, clues elude to something big happening. On going process to make chaos and trouble, church doesn't like me I'm dubbed the ruthless Shadow... I'm happy.

Long live the Shadows, now recruiting dark peoples.

Lulz of the day:

Jules Carami: You can't clone Blue cos there is only one, everything is just an off color

The darkness

I had wanted this.... The complete darkness, to be engulfed entirely and be free of any flaws. No humanity, no weakness to be strong and be above all others that were not Shadow. Not only am I in the darkness, I am a part of it inseperatble from it. I can't seem to get a handle on it, to use the power that flows within me.

Sort of like being on the bottom of a well, with no way out but up. I don't want to go up I want go down further, in to the comfort of damnation I have sought for. I hated humanity hated the mortality that coiled around me, choking me making me weak to cry in terror and fear. Now I'm better than that once more strong, unbroken and unfettered ready to take on the city.

My Lord is the path to the new ages and I walk beside him, old days flooding my mind like they happened yesterday. Everyone is expendable and the city will tremble before us, for we are the House of Shadows.

Corruption

Lulz of the day:

RockPup (In Skype): Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle AGH PIETER'S CROTCH!!!

Reborn the Monster

Kaira killed me... Gutted me right there and then on the Pit floor, she had her reason I did torture her a bit on the alter. Killing me? Is that really justified?

~Cut to the part of being well dead~

I looked around in that familar blackness, my body was dead and honestly this was the second time I lost it completely. Fourth death though ha I'm getting a good track record.... Death was there in its male aspect, you ever seen Hades from Greek mythology? He was looking like that not something I normally go for, but meh I was already comfortable with Death so what the fuck ever.

"We really have to stop meeting like this".

"You're telling me"?

Death moved towards me, "It is not time for you to die now is it? Never is since you are not meant to be dead, you are going to wake up sooner or later. Ahh Misato always the one that got away".

"I've been damned since the first time I went demon, you telling me that I will never truely die"?

"Thats the gist of it", he said. "That little heart of yours, it wasn't as human as you thought it was".

I blinked, "Excuse me"?

He seemed to laugh then, "Eeehhh... Well the confines of humanity actually made its demon nature dorment, when your body was ended it freed it to return to what it was. Oh child of Janvier".

"I have a question".

"Yes"?

"That demoness who killed my parents, she isn't really me is she"?

Death got a serious expression, "You've seen there are other dimensions and realities, imagine that particular demoness came from one such dimension.... That is the you who was BORN a demoness, pure demon and true as you will be soon".

As the light or should that be a blacker black than the blackness I was already sitting in, suddenly invaded my personal inner sanctum I sat down to take that in. Death embraced me in the way a lover would, in the way I wish a certain one would do every day.

~End scene~

All I could feel was heat immense heat all around me, coursing through me and I was just floating in this heat. I don't know does a heart actually feel anything at all? I crawled out of the volcano my hands grasping for the edge to drag myself free of the lava, I crept over the floor hissing in my own violent re-birth towards my Lord. He ordered me to go out and feed to not take too long either, with Jason by my side I went out in to the city and mananged to feed off a couple of kitties.

Afterwards I tested the blood of my lineage on Stein, it seems it still works though a lot less potent. I can't figure out why the rest of my old powers will not work, perhaps because Belial abandoned my father... Janvier.

Lulz of the day:

Kashgari: Who are you raping?
Pieter: Your sister

Padded room

Aaww Martko is so mad and he got madder when he saw, after a brief encounter he stormed off growling. I hadn't meant to find him in the hospital, I was busy remembering things that happened here. He was chanting to himself -I hate this city-, I only paid him attention when he growled.

We began to talk through the grating, he irritated me because people like him don't think I know pain and loss. He invited me in and I sat down, he gave me a chocolate bar. I value sugery foods not having them when I was a kid, he told me his story telling why he hates people like me. In turn I told my life before Toxia, I told him how I had changed due to Pack. How Shadows had saved me.

So easy to just give me a label rather than see the cause, I respect strong people like Martko. Both Jonathon and Griffith were Righteous, abuse taken and abuse given with decent conversation after. Martko will now be the same as them in my eyes, he is best left where he is. I'm created by this city I stand for everything he is against, I never broke I embraced the darkness.

I enjoy life with no light

Lulz of the day:

Blueray: You're taking up my server space!
Kashgari: I'm not taking it, I'm just borrowing it.

I returned to where I belong

I had quietly left the group of cybernectics yesterday, installing Kishi as their new leader and folding up my coat. Putting it on a table placing my comm unit on top of the coat, I knew I wouldn't be needing them anymore where I was going. I made a last sweep of the factory, taking it all in with a fondness that was there just not so strong. I had done all I could while longing to be elsewhere, I had worked hard to pull them together but Kishi she would do a better job. I gripped the railing of the railing that was around the hole, I threw myself over it to land with a thud and walk off.

I looked back once heaving out a sigh, I may not have belonged there or felt a complete part of them. Still leaving out of the blue was a wrench for me, I made a vow a heartfelt vow that will stay etched on my heart for all time. I will never harm a Continuum member. I turned my back on them I was going to be happy for once, and be damned if its something I want and had wanted.

The steps of the Pit looked like a large tongue that lolled out of the maw of a giant beast, my heart beat so fast I was scared it would burst inside my chest. Slowly I walked up the steps taking each one with each stride, til I was inside the Pit and stood before Pieter.

"Yes Bluebie"?

"It is time, I want to come home".

He went to his throne motioning me to follow, I was half behind him half at his side as is usual for me. He ordered me to kneel before him, I pointed out we established a year ago I don't kneel. I got my insignia of the Shadows back, I was part of my old family again. I couldn't hear the voices as I did the first time round, I wasn't part of the telepathy that we all shared. Either way I felt more at ease than I had in a long time, I was finally home and the Shadows they all welcomed me back in to the fold. They had missed me too. I guess though I have to work my way back up to my old place, no worries I didn't mind having to earn my rank back. Gives me something to do.

After I was back in we went out in force to FishCo, we picked up Kaira who had been corrupted by Pieter to see the darker side of life. Kaira I know how my Lord favours her, as ever I will wait I will be there when its done and over. I like Kaira despite me breaking her, she was a monster a thing twisted to be what we all are. Free. Kaira joined us too became a Shadow, the day was an overall win for us.

Soon the darkness will spread over the city, we will create fear like no other. I will regain everything and become the terror that stalked the streets, it will be always behind my Lord's wake. Pieter.... The man that done more than anyone for me, saved me, raised me, led me, drew me in when no one else would. Moulded me to be the epitome of what a Shadow is, almost perfect he called me this time I will be perfect.

Soon its the begining of the old, only with a brand new twist.

Lulz of the day:

[15:11] Martko Swords: ok ok
[15:11] Martko Swords: hows about
[15:11] Martko Swords: Sainsburys Mastercard
[15:11] Martko Swords: there
[15:11] Martko Swords: :D
[15:11] Blueray Darkes: :P
[15:11] Martko Swords trys to find bluerays Card slot
[15:11] Blueray Darkes: LOL I shop at Tesco
[15:12] Martko Swords pulls out his tesco mastercard
[15:12] Martko Swords: wheres the slot?
[15:12] Esso Brezoianu: im pretty sure you would have the same chance with a library card
[15:13] Blueray Darkes: Rofl

The Continuum

I had my time in The Continuum over the months I was there, I made sure to do what was best for the group as a whole and for its individuals. It often made me upset despite the fondness for the group, it wasn't my group and I did my damnedest to make it mine. In the end where does it lead you?

My RP has been conflicting I miss what I no longer had, while trying to make something of what I had gotten. I do honestly like the members of The Continuum, I got to know them better than I would have done had I not been there at all. I had some really good times with them, times that I have had the honour and privilage of having. Yet GMs that are unhappy overall are not good GMs, they become slackers [like myself] and fall in to some rutt. [I became a serious slacker, but still tried hard]

I can go home now.

I hadn't really planned on it being so soon, maybe I figured it would stretch to a few more months at least. After all I was only a temperary solution, specially since I got no idea about what being a cyber is about. The way I took over was odd and estranged, I beat down the grumbles in the ranks and halted those who undermined me. Maybe if I stayed longer I would have gotten more used to the role, or maybe no length of time would have ever helped that sense of not being.

Family is everything no matter the family, I had wanted that imprinted on them. I made sure I stayed loyal and devoted to the family I led, no matter my ties to who or what my first priority was to TCs. Never doubt that.

Goodbye Continuum, we had fun together. I enjoyed the time though I tainted it with my sorrow, I wish you good fortune and luck in the future <3

Quote:

Pontifex: You can take the girl out of the Shadows, but you can't take the Shadows out of the girl.

Pants day

Whats so special about my pants?

Joenta said she needed my pants and she beat me down for them too, holy fucking hell she stripped them off and then squeezed herself in to them. Picket being well Picket is took it upon herself to go beat up Joenta, after I dealt with some uppity Reck vampire harressing Forneus we took Joe to the porn shop. AND I TOOK HER PANTS!!!

Quiet slapped me in the face with her pants, challenged me to a pants dual and I actually won. I let her keep her pants, I put on Joenta's pants then she ran off with two pairs of my pants.... She practically skipped shouting how she got Blueray's happy pants, as if it was some sort of big deal to have my pants. I don't know its been one of those days I guess...

So why does everyone want me out of my pants?

Oh my god how many times can I say pants in one entry about pants?

Lulz of the day:

[0:41] Grom Prevost: Hahaha, poor Van.
[0:45] Aaryanna Parx: Wonder what made him have to do that
[0:46] Grom Prevost: He just likes Hello Kitty? A lot? lol
[0:47] Aaryanna Parx: then he is gay.. even if in japan they came out with hello kitty for men
[0:48] Grom Prevost: He must be a diehard fan then....supergay...
[0:48] Grom Prevost: He can be our superhero!
[0:48] Aaryanna Parx: hehehe
[0:48] Aaryanna Parx: Sounds good!
[0:49] Grom Prevost: Supergay Man to the rescue! Wherever there is heterosexuality...he will stop it...whereve there is homosexuality, he will join in....he is...Supergay Man!!!
[0:49] Aaryanna Parx: Hehehehe
[0:50] Aaryanna Parx: Oh supergay man save me!
[0:50] Grom Prevost: We just need a giant Hello Kitty on a spotlight to call him now...
[0:50] Aaryanna Parx snickers.

Mortal coil

Holy fuck what a week, busy and quiet all at the same time. Monday I was powered down getting a few repairs, Tuesday saw Martko give us training but only one TC showed up. However the rest of the city showed up, and they joined in with the combat training.

Wednesday I found Tanapopo thinking she was a Righteous, and of course when Pieter came to call to offer me some work I told him what I knew. He was extremely interested in this, thanked me for my information and later the same day he told me I didn't strike him as a cyber. Body is human, the parts are cyber, the mind is demonic and the heart is still Shadow....

On Friday I heard the Shadows had moved on the church on Thursday, to be honest I hadn't expected them to move so fast. I guess since Tan was his.... PET the speed was acceptable, she had been beaten and her collar removed. A traitor to the House and when I heard I knew that was how she was treated, when she finally remembers I hope she goes kill herself. All who oppose the House and all who betray it, shall have the dark justice inflicted upon them. Skyler well he was pretty pleased with himself for torturing and crucifying an angel, he also scolded me for not behaving in front of this human he was working on. To lure the innocent to be of any use one must use sugar coated words and honeyed behaviour, his scolding was more to do with the fact I had lost my finese and been forgetting who I was..... My brother doesn't like seeing me mortal and I get pissed off when he reminds me I will die some day, the longer I stay as this pathetic human the more I will forget my demon ways.

Saturday was quiet though I spent a good amount of time in the Haven speaking with the mad doctor, he still has that thing with him that woman who is retarded. I want to hurt it. Sex came in to the talk I got no real idea why or how but it did, my mind wondered to where ever my wife and Pieter were. Polygamy for the win no? My body craves attention, my heart craves affection from them both. What ya going to do really? Conversation moves on to the air causing people to be sterile, and the fact there had been no disease for over a year. Gally was tormenting some poor human male sexually, that sorta coinsided with the sex talk previously. I told the doctor that for history in the years before I was here, he should go talk to Pieter for he would most likely know. Fuck it I almost slipped up in full public and called him My Lord, I was so fucking lucky Gally never picked up on it. Who knows if anyone managed to catch it, I really should be more careful specially in the company of Shadows.

Life goes on, I lose more of my old skill set each day. My mind turns to becoming fully cyberised to prevent aging, to prevent myself from dieing and leaving this world. I left for the rooftops I can feel Death close by, or perhaps that was my own self morbidity. I know Death I know how she feels or he or whatever gender Death chooses to be, they are always there trailing mortals all across the globe. Yet I am closet to them more than anyone, the energy signature the special and abused bond between it and I. The fact it had been in control of my body...... Death and I, they say I am not meant to die. I keep alluding them and so that has intrigued them, one day when the real end of the world happens I will embody Death again.. Maybe if I'm still on this plane by the time it occurs.

I do not wish to die, I will live for all eternity. Immorality is but a cyberisation away, for we are ones who live through technology. We alone will survive when all else fails, we are cybernectics we are The Continuum. Resistence is futile.

Tell me why I feel like I don't belong? I'm a leader with a family who will listen to my every word, I am loyal to them and fullfill my duty. I do not belong, the gaping hole grows. I live continously losing myself.

Lulz of the day:

21:33 A new unit for measuring the wobbliness of supermarket trolley wheels was introduced.

21:34 Female-invented colours such as "Lemon, Coffee, Mauve, Taupe, Puce etc" were now banned and replaced with proper colours like Horrahorrawamagong.

21:35 Facefucking became mandatory.

21:36 God finished. Moses nodded. God wandered off. Vertically. - Queen James Bible.

Queen James Bible

Dancing free

Righteous came for their comms we made for them, and they were happy with them. We got ways they will never think of, trust us or not our backdoors so well hidden that not even their own tech head can find them.

Oh well the day was rather uneventfull, I did go see Pieter and inform him that Janvier had been in the city. I informed him of other things to, and he told me to be watch my back. Confirmations were made, before we went to the Pit we embraced briefly. A stolen moment. The Pit had some entertainment in it, Trixie a Ryder had helped capture a vampire for Mikayla's use. Mikayla is a worthy demoness if I was one I'd be proud to call her such, she tortured that male while she fed from him and his screams were music. Pity that the Ryder chick has such a weak stomach she was sick, I was myself yesterday violently ill but that was more out of fear than disgust. ~I do not fear much, but an Skyler still manages to strike fear inside me.~

I hate humanity...

I left the Pit to wander the rooftops with a new frustration all built up, no damn release none at all. Somehow I ended up in the Haven dancing to the music, the beat is something I always figured had a life all its own. If you swayed your body to it just closed your eyes, feel the beat thrum you its as if the city has its own heartbeat and its that you're dancing to. I ended up stripping for Skyler while I danced beside Gally, she had stripped off for her lover a mutant called Bame. Despite missing the Shadows I really do love my current family, I have the pleasure of being with perverts no matter the faction.

Again I move on leaving the tentpoled mutant to the attentions of Gally, and hoping that Skyler actually studies. Back upon the rooftops I could oversee the city, that is and always will be my playground. Its late the moon is high if you can even see it through the clouds and smog, I'm away from the Haven filled with people and the thrumming music. There is something else I'm listening for, a sound I have longed to hear again since becoming a cybernectic.

Night song.

I listened to the silent night actually straining my hearing to hear it, dis-heartened I decided to dance for no apparent reason other than I can. No sooner had I done so that the sweet, melody laced with sorrow, joy, hate and bitterness reached me, I could hear the night singing and she sang to me. Thus I danced to all the emotions of the human race that the night knew of and she had seen, in my own fashion of worship I danced to her song as a creature of darkness a night child.

For the night sings so sweetly, to those who can hear her.

Lulz of the day:

[18:05] Nivanglus Aya: After I beat Sipha up, he told me he wants you to collar him Rose. He also told me he'd die for it but he only loves me.
[18:05] Sipha Sands: Can some one rape her with a shovel please...

Stupidity

I hadn't wanted to tell Skyler about what had passed between me and Lorne, but since he invaded my thoughts to see the images I told him anyway. It all happened because I refused to go to the Voodoo shop, though it still pained me to think back on those days I told my brother to leave me alone and walked off.

Skyler grabbed my wrist told me not to walk from him, asked me why him of all people why him. I told him because Lorne was there, he cared and was good at it. He hated Lorne and so his disapproval was something I couldn't bear, I broke down sobbing about my own stupidity. He promptly punched me. Yes I stopped crying to look at him blankly while my nanites fixed my broken cheek and jaw bone, Skyler said he wasn't going to put up with me putting myself down just as he never did before. If he had been in Toxia while we did he would have killed us while we slept in bed, its good to know that matter how we are he will always punish me for feeling less than I should be.

As for stupidity I seem to have it in bucket loads, my aching need for my Lord over rode common sense. After months of not being able to even after my death and change, Pieter became the second person to partake of my new body. We made a heated, passionate reactment of Ktox, we enjoyed every second every moaned word of need, want and desire. Our love is pure...

I woke up in the Pit in the morning alone in the bed though I had fallen asleep in Pieter's arms, his embrace is strong and I wish to do this more often. Yet time has a bad habit of dictating the word no to me, and demons don't sleep so I expected him to be up before me. The bed was still warm where he had been, I got up got on my clothes to make my way to the hotel for the shower. Believe me showering isn't easy for me, I have to remove parts that could get damaged. It leaves me vulunerable and an easy target, its also hard for me to wash myself one handed. So far I haven't let anyone see me like this, I'm independant I would hate to be seen like that.

Showered, dressed, ready to take on the city......

Lulz of the day:

[17:56] DCS2 2.45.8: Skyler Hennesy OOC: lol martko, gotta love the rap songs that become national anthems for about a month

Same old record

I wondered by the Pit during the morning hours, I don't know why I just tend to always drop by. Its like I need to see it to be inside it, to smell the sulpher and feel the heat of the volcano. Only that demoness who had got tortured was there, Pieter was trying to convince her to eat a soul shard. Not because he cared even if he said its because he cared, always an ulterier motive and a reason behind everything. She got all twitchy when I arrived refused to feed in front of me, Pieter told her to relax that he didn't mind me being there. Didn't mind because I knew his true nature. He shoves the shard in to her mouth and she runs off, while my Lord walks in to the Pit one of my own has run up to me. I refrained from sighing and rolling my eyes, its like everytime I want to walk in there a TC runs up. I know they're looking out for me but its getting tiresome, I'm perfectly safe around Pieter Seelowe. People just don't know him people just refuse to see past what he shows, he guards few people and loves even less and those privy to it earned it. Unlike what Pilgrim believes to be true, Pieter can and does love the whispered words of "Never stopped loving you" still ring in my head and heart. I love my Lord.

And it makes me weak.

The talk was brief the air tense with something not sure what, I was still pent up and though I refused myself my own body kept demanding release. It can wait, it can wait it needs to stop begging me, with my hormones in a complete mess I headed for Haven. The only place in Toxia with hornier people than me, where I can forget my needs and drink to oblivion. Only problem was Pilgrim was there with her Righteous buddies, and we made small talk together while my family took over the bar. At which point Martko comes in gives me a greeting and seemingly walks out again, I don't understand that wolf at all he's really fucking weird. No sooner was he gone he sent me a text message......... How did he get my number and how was his phone working?

Werewolves *rolls eyes*

Not that I mind them after all I did used to be one, but I never understood the need to be with your own kind. Even as a demon if a fellow demon showed weakness or had no pride, then they just aint worth it and should be ended. Meh!

On top of the apartments I found Martko just as he said he would be, he handed me a drink with a few drops of his blood in it. Vodka! I don't know why he called me up here after all I'm not the best person to talk to, when he started talking the first thing out his mouth was the mention of uniting North Toxia. My blood ran cold and I outright told him that the factions never bind together unless there is a common threat, Martko scoffed at me and then says course I wouldn't care and Shadows rule the city. Yep they do and at least he was SMART enough to see that they do, when I was one of them I tried to make sure people knew that and feared them. He said he wished I could go home to them, but that isn't his problem and some things are impossible. The wolf even asked me if I got tired of being evil ~Chaotic neutral some people call me now~, I told him no cos although I was filled with darkness my behaviour is not all bad. Its just askew and always benefits me or family.

Gotta know when to and when not to be bad.

However he didn't probe further than that I can't say whether I was grateful or disappointed, most people who declare the city needs saving and wants it generally try to poke past my behaviour and foul temper. Thats another thing Martko is just playing the same old record other people have played, and it gets fucking boring in a way but it is afterall to my own amusment to watch and make them fall. I recalled the priest Alonzo who had ever been a thorn in my side, and eventually gave up after I made an innocent angel stab him for torturing me. He cracked so hard. When will people realise I speak the truth when the city corrupts people? That the residents here don't give a shit about the word of God, or even want this save our souls bullshit shoved down their throats? We're here for a reason either to escape the laws of man, or to escape from whatever miserable life we lived in before. No law here means absolute freedom.

Martko is an idiot, in a long line of idiots. Seriously he isn't any different from all those others, he acts the same says the same damn things and lives in complete denial.

Today I keep my past, my secrets and my darkness. He declares resistence is futile even though everyone resists, and I well I will be there hindering his way. For now he's due to teach my cybers some combat stuff, regular teachers are nice we really do need it.

Martko the new thorn in my side.

And my mother's words that echo through my head long before this day arrived, and long after I remembered and had already killed - Never kill with dark intent, for this leads to the dark path.

You know I really am sort of glad he never pried, I hate revealing that I used to be a goody two shoes.... Even if I was a violent one.

Lulz of the day:

[22:56] DCS2 2.34: Fae Ferrentino OOC: ack phone? grr
[22:56] DCS2 2.34: GrrBrool Lykin OOC: yes Fae? ring ring? ha

Martko...... Comms and Kishi

Why is it everywhere I go he is there? Like a constant shadow that seems to be haunting me, Collin bought him to the factory to discuss my terms. Martko.... Damned Righteous always seems so nice, but you ever seen him fight.. You can see him lose control as something inside him snaps, its that I want to get a hold of its that I want to twist.

My terms were to Collin when he came the first time, is give me an apoligy of all those involved for crucifying me. Those of my family who were there at the time agreed whole heartedly, so think what you like its a backed up thing by all. The Righteous refused to the terms we had given, and to be honest it was simple stalling tactics. I didn't really want to make them have comms too soon, specially since it was me who knocked it out. I tried to bargain for Suyuan's soul since she had requested I try to get it for her, again another refusal it wasn't theirs to give it was Griffith's. I do like the vampire we have had our interactions, he prefers it when I'm all badass as it keeps him occupied. He is a worthy adversary, Martko is worthy too in his own disillusioned way.

Martko said he would give us training for combat, that was something we sorely needed after Monk beat us all down. I have to admit I rarely ever rise a weapon unless needed, simply because I do not see strength in one's ability to beat someone up. Strength comes from inside the will to live beyond all hardship, to carry on living when everyone else around you gives up.

Moving on with the day I read a note from Magpie telling me he left me a human Kishi in my tank, perfect what a wonderful way to finish up my day by delivering pain to my ex sister. I yanked out nails and ripped out her spine, I cut her open to put in parts to help her recovering overly battered body. Dwells got dizzy from it all he's still too human, has that guilt in him to make him feel bad for the victem. Once I was done I told her that her payment for saving her life was simple, become a Continuum member just fill out this form and use the clothes in the box when you're feeling better.

Though I was covered in Kishi's blood I bid my family farewell for the reminder of the day, picked up my tome from the Hive and went to find Skyler. I gave him the book made him promise to keep it safe, he said he wouldn't be long with it and I will have it back soon. I had promised Pieter that he could look at that book too, I'm glad that only Magpie, Pieter, Joah and Skyler know of that tome. If everyone knew what it was how powerful it was, then they would all want it and try to take it from me. Hitaroki's tome the only thing of him apart from memories I have left, its not just powerful it has sentiment too.

Lulz of the day:

[17:41] Jonny Ormenthal: I just dont eat things endorsed by dildos

Guess what I did :D

Yesterday, yep was yesterday because I been slacking on the journal, I had gone to the Pit as usual since I feel most at home there. That new demon who I dubbed five minute man, simply because he desired only five minutes of pleasure. And it pisses him off. So anyway that new demon was in the Pit also with a demon girl up on the bondage cross, he was torturing her in a way that had me impressed at his newbie skills.

Staying close to Pieter I watched the demon male torture, until my scanner went off that there was a commotion at the front door. Bloody typical that the Righteous would show up, and at their lead was Martko. I hate the fact that there are demons and vampires in a church group, it actually makes me physically sick to think about it. WHERE IS THEIR PRIDE? Fuckers no pride, none at all. Martko was plegded in to some weird sci-fi alligence thing, I can't help but feel a stab of jealousy when he asks for Pilgrim yet again. Martko shivers maybe from disgust when I touch his back, I note these things I always do and its something I will captilise on later.

He spends so much time drooling over that angel, what about my own damn needs?

Screw it.

I left the Pit afterwards and it was some time after that I began to set things up on the church roof, I told them I would get them back for the magnets. An electrotic field that covers the area of the church, and knocks out all their electronics including my own if I got inside of it. Ha hahahahahahaha FUCKERS!

Sooooo

Also yesterday Collin who hates my guts not just for feeding Cid's leg to Skyler, but for the fact that more often than not I'm around Shadows. Hey when my own family isn't around I hang with my old one, it makes me complete and makes me happy by gods I'm still horny from the torture. No relief.... Sigh. I managed to make Collin agree to get me apoligies from all the Righteous who were involved on that day, and if he got it in time I would make the Righteous a new comm system.

Sometimes I don't mind this tech stuff, its actually rather fun to organise to fix the problems that you caused. Score one for The Continuum.

Lulz of the day:

[2:47] Stiletto Vendetta feigns a scornful look at Resty "a rake?"
[2:47] kyo Savira: will you please hit me with a rake and eat me

One year

Its safe to say that when one marries their demonic sister, there has to be some form of madness or a bond so deep that it requires an outside thing to show the world. I think for Picket and myself its a bit of both, so on this day last year us two demon sisters fathered by Janvier married. Blood fountains, roasting humans, black bible, an alter, all the people we had come to hate and love in Toxian City had come to our wedding. The most hated person of all Dimentox performed the ceremony, we did everything in our own power to make it not mushy at all.

Though I had promised to cheat on her everyday, I don't think I actually managed it at all. For one its a little hard to cheat everyday when you got no one to cheat with, and of course she never did give me that Dutch Oven she promised. We never had to the dishes either...... Ha! We discovered that even though the men who entered and left our lives, we always had one another to rely on that was and is our only constant. I can say we've fought, we've cried and I've lost her to the clutches of Death far more than I like to recount, but I have always managed to find a way to get her back.

Yes at one point I actually hated her for killing Skyler, but that passes as all things pass because she is my sister and she is my wife. No matter what I still love her, I still need to go sow her finger back on. When Picket wants to avoid someone she does it, and is a lot harder than myself to find.

We may not be the forms we were when we started this little trip, but we are and always will be demonic at heart. The trouble making duo sisterwives, who in their own way terrorise the city.

My sisterwife is Picket McDonnell

And without her I would have been left broken hearted, less than a shadow of who I am everytime a man screwed me over in order to hurt me so deep I'd wish to die. I'm sure she feels the same way about me.

Always here for you <3

Lulz of the day:

I will not have a daughter. Although she would certainly be as evil as she is beautiful, once she sees the hero's rugged good looks, she will no doubt betray me to him. - Evil Overlord list

I hate magnets

I went to the church today I was due for the cross, only I was gonna go just with my family. I hadn't expected all of the Shadows to show up to, it wasn't their problem I didn't know they were gonna be there. Show up they did to support me to back me up and my family, Martko taunted me he seems oh so impressed he cracked my heart plate. Oh nice you almost killed me lets feel proud about it, fuck you; you fucking asshole.

Shit went down Shadows wondered off, Righteous used some magnets to slam me on to the cross. You think this will stop me? You think this will make me scream for forgiveness? I know that the people of the church see us cybers as freaks of nature, I was there when they told Terrox that to his face. I did have him under my control at the time to attack the church, silly that his mind was so easy to grab a hold of. Ah the days of a demon.

They let me down my family is pissed off and so we plan, plan to make their lives Hell because we got the tech and the know how. Honestly I'm still pretty clueless about it all, but I make out that I got some grasps on the subject.

Thank you Pieter for being there, thank you Shadows. My old family my new family I thank them all, and I will always love Pieter my Lord. And there is Skyler he would be pissed off about the cross when he hears about it, we are closer than we were before because I'm teaching him. His appearence now resembles something of my old self albiet male, but there are differences but I feel a great swell of pride I can use a technique to give him all he needs to know. Next up is his powers, I wonder what he has.

Before I decided to pass out for the reminder of the night I encountered Patches, my adopted son who is a cat along with his brother D and his sister Freyja. Yeah yeah I'm a mother sort of. I spoke to him a little before then turning my attention to Delrith and the retreating Cid, I noticed his clenched fists his tightened jaw. With that I decided to harress him as my newest toy of amusment. I figured I'd follow them to the seawall but their talk was boring and I needed to reaquint with my lover Delrith, but before I had chance to say goodnight the red skin Pontifex shows up.

He asked me to arrange a business deal and I agreed to meet with him on Sunday, so we would have plenty of time to discuss the things that he wanted. I am rather surprised to see him back also in the city, and without his angel woman Merma attached to his arm. I wondered what had happened to her, perhaps he killed her since after all he is a demon and its in their nature to do away with mates that displease them. Pontifex also used to own the Nareth, but whatever happened to her is also unsure.

I don't bother to think on the mysteries of people's affairs.... I will go to doing my favourite hobby, watching the city corrupt the innocent people.

Lulz of the day:

[11:12] Skyler Hennesy: Blue likes to play, sometimes her toys get broken. You should see her bill for that sex shop she buys her toys from."
[11:12] Skyler Hennesy whistles loudly and shakes his head 'She's rough, what can I say?"

He was hungry

After deciding to dub in the demon who claims that Vulcan is like his brother, I had argued with Seto who didn't want to be a demon and was whining about it. Ah good ole Pix she has to tell me my body may not be demon, but my mind hadn't lost any of its demonic qualities. He agreed to meet me at the factory and give me a world of pain, how unfortunate for him that I paralised him with some strange fluid and strapped him down to the med bed.

I took Seto apart feeding the body parts to Skyler, my brother was hungry and eager to eat what I offered. When there wasn't much left I shoved hir in to the tank to fix hir up, made hir in to a cybernectic and oooh look hir problem was solved. No more demon. He was still hungry I took him to the butcher shop, and he ate it all then I took him to go find Ragein for a little revenge. After I had chased down another angel, Skyler had eaten his left leg.

All in all a good day's chaos for me and I felt, well fuck it I felt like me more than ever. When I was finally alone in the factory before I powered down for sleep, I bought myself to a much needed orgasm. Upon the release I fell in to sleep a smile on my lips, I had done something that wasn't cyber like. I was still a Shadow at heart.

Lulz of the day:

[13:04] Narah Ihnen: gah I hate it when moths do that
[13:05] Blueray Darkes: Moths?
[13:05] Narah Ihnen: you go to smoosh them and they just.. poof
[13:05] Blueray Darkes: LOL
[13:05] Blueray Darkes: Poor moth
[13:05] Narah Ihnen: LoL
[13:05] Narah Ihnen: it shouldn't flap in my face
[13:06] Blueray Darkes: You shouldn't pretend to be a light bulb?
[13:06] Narah Ihnen: LMAO
[13:06] Narah Ihnen: thats just my ass
[13:06] Narah Ihnen: XD
[13:06] Blueray Darkes: Damn girl
[13:07] Narah Ihnen: the sun shines out my backside you know
[13:08] Blueray Darkes: I can get warm by your ass o.o
[13:08] Narah Ihnen: yus XD

SPAWN

Shattered from being upset, all raged out and pretty much sunk in to a rut. I took the human route of drinking down my sorrows, I was mad at Picket and proberly would be for a while. Mad at the stupid angel who fed her his stupid addictive blood, I hated the world and everything in it but that was nothing new at all.

Inside the Haven I gathered up the bottles of vodka drinking them one by one, emptying their burning contents down my throat. I became perfectly blissfully drunk back when I drank after the dungeon event, only I had no dumbass traitor Kumori yelling at me to stop. I think I talked about how idiotic Vulcan was with some guy who was there, someone who admitted to being a Shadow and left before Janvier took over. When I blurted out about going to Coven to get Skyler bought back, he was fucking upset that the vampire was dead and gone. Well duh its why I been drinking.....

I walked or well staggered to the Pit to find a newly spawned demonic Skyler in the lava, I cried then cried like a stupid, drunk human and told him if I could mean it I would tell him I was sorry. Those words have no meaning because I can't feel the emotion behind them, for once I actually wished I could mean it because I failed my brother. *Even if I do want to jump his bone* He didn't understand most of what I said, but he looked sad and kept saying sorry. I told him it was me who failed to look after him, and he just disagreed with me I took him home with me to the factory.

Gods if only I had Pieter here now I wouldn't be such a mess, I kept Skyler with me til he wandered off to the Haven to dance as if its the only thing he could remember to do. I think all I needed was some comfort but I wouldn't turn to my wife for it, and Pieter was on the other plain he goes to; to recharge. I was alone, lost and drunk so I dragged my sorry ass home, looks like I got my work cut out for me to teach Skyler how to shift shape. Good times and at the factory I drank some more, celebrating by myself one big fucking mess... I'm gonna be...

*the rest seems to be squiggly lines as if the writer, had tried to carry on writing and passed out while doing so*

Lulz of the day:

Somewhere along the line mentioning cake and fat kids, brought us to the conclusion that Orcs have sex with baby goats then turn them in to stew! o.o

And then I hated her

When you hate the sister you love and married, there has to be a damn good reason for it. My reason was justified when I hated her and kicked her, my reason was justified and no one would fault me for it at all.

My sisterwife had killed my adopted brother, the one I considered as an older brother and looked up to. One I sought for time after time when the world got on top of me, and there he would be to reassure me for the better. Now he was ash nothing but ash on the ground.

I can't bear to look at her I can't even bear to be near her, so I'm avoiding her trailing through the city like a lost dog. If I was a demon I wouldn't be crying over him, I would instead be having an angry rampage slaughtering people. Humans are different they re-act differently, I know Picket didn't have any control but that doesn't make it feel any better.

Suppose I can hope that he comes back in some fashion, lots of people come back all the time in Toxia and normally as different things. In my belt pouch I carry with me a vial of Skyler's blood I had saved, and in my mind I carry the memories of the times I spent with Skyler.

No I can't hate Picket forever and I can't feel bad for hurting her either, so I got this strange hole where guilt was meant to be but instead it gnawed and ached in a sense. I know how I'm meant to feel, I didn't even remember how it was meant to feel.............

Come back brother dear

Lulz of the day:

[20:54:03] CP: 5 minutes..........
[20:54:04] CP: .....
[20:54:07] CP: ..........
[20:54:09] CP: ..
[20:54:09] CP: .....
[20:54:12] CP: ..---.
[20:54:18] CP: ..---... -. ..-..
[20:54:30] CP: .. ---....---. ..-. .-.-. .-....---..
[20:54:36] Blueray Darkes: o-o
[20:54:42] Blueray Darkes sends out Pacman
[20:54:50] CP shoots him

Monster revealed

A day ago we had some human supernatural in our base, chained down to the table and in the name of medical research I brutilised them. Odd that she suddenly became a he but then this is Toxia, and for once around my family I could shed the mask. I revelled in dishing out the breakages, the cuttings and they were around me watching with predatory grins. Flesh is a design the unified voice whispered, flesh is weak and so are the ones we experiment on.

Its been far too long since I talked about technique, Fareabel and myself had one of those talks to see if we could out do eachother. I enjoyed it and I was finally able to show my true nature to my family, though I think that underneath some of them perhaps hate me or fear me for it.

Yesterday though.............. Yesterday my sisterwife on her own request was turned vampire by Pieter, and all of Kaira's damn white fur pissed me off so I shoved her in to Picket's spilled blood. Ooh and that got the little kitty chained to the alter by Picket, and subsequently tortured by her and by myself. Nothing as satisfying as hearing someone scream in agony when you caused it, I think her mind broke before her spirit and will did. This is good for then she will be another monster, something akin to myself and yet I know she will come for me. I'm not afraid let her come, let her enjoy doing to me what I did to her. Pieter healed her though gifted her again, one more chance to walk with Shadows.

You can throw yourself in to the place where you are, but is it truely where you want to be?

I am the monster revealed no longer in hiding, time turns and I bide my time. I have helped create a monster, I will nurture her hate as I have nurtured mine.

Lulz of the day:

[9:49] Picket McDonnell's Tentacle Pet: Oh my FUCKING GOD! You didn't just poke me in the EYE?!?!?! DAMNIT! Does that LOOK like a cock to you, Skyler! Jeeeeeze that HURT!

Return of Skyler

During the week a lot has happened the main event or the main event in my own concern, is that Skyler returned to Toxia for a longer time than a mere few hours. In fact he has been here all week, and I have enjoyed his company just as much as I used to before. Admittedly most of it was stirring up the Righteous, Skyler worshiped a pew I got a bolter to the head and their distrust. To be around at the same time as Pieter, seems to get me in to far more trouble than I at first thoought. In all honesty I should have expected that anyway, but that doesn't change the fact some think I am in cahoots with the Lord of Shadows.

Am I? I'll let you find out that for yourself, its more fun that way.

Most of the week I spent with Skyler was him being a dork, and dancing down in the Haven since its what he wanted to do. There was also the small event of Pieter trying to rape Pilgrim again, with the Righteous being idiots and risking her existence.

Calleigh was killed but the one who did it was tortured and ran down for harming Pieter's daughter, pity I missed that would have been something for me to see. Pieter also will be getting on the act, bet I miss that too.

Martko from the Righteous battled with me, he broke my heart plate that I needed to fix and I did so by covering it in metal. Skyler visited me at the factory wishing to see my new home, though he says I am lost but not too far lost so I can't find my way back to my old family.

So thats the run down of dancing, of silliness, of stirring up trouble, of my older brother. Even though he says its his fate to be alone, I had to tell him long as he's my family he will never walk alone.

Family walks together no matter if we're blood or not, family walks together even when we're not in the same places as before.

Lulz of the day:

[11:40] Maribelle Beliveau: How did we get from gaming to porn? O.o
[11:40] FangSnowpaws Yoshiyuki: cause porn is gaming with your private parts
[11:41] Maribelle Beliveau laughs

There is a dawn even when its not seen

Righteous again, the Righteous impaling Jason upon the spike outside the church. Not many months ago it was a Righteous, who had tied a rope around Jason's neck and hung him. I used a lot of energy and effort in to the ritual circle, I used my blood and Dev's I ripped off Dev's wings. It was I and the Shadows who lent their energy, that bought Jason back from Hell and to have that almost wrecked by a hot headed wolf.

Lets say I was not amused at all and I was angry at the fact, that so much work would be so easily wiped out. In protest I made it my personal issue I faced Martko, we agreed to meet up later when neither of our families could be dragged in or have interference from Pix.

I stood waiting in the late hours of the night with what few stars I could see in the Toxian sky, atop the Private Dick building until Martko arrived. We discussed the situation of what had occured, another person telling me to cut my ties to the past. It was long winded and my original violence had receeded in to quiet seething, he understood where I was coming from unlike that idiot Pix. I made him offer me a favour that I can call in at anytime and in any fashion, he agreed to this and offered me a blue rose that I briefly cherised since nothing lasts here.

Once he was gone I turned my attention to the church, I was right that if Pieter wanted to he would be back for more trouble. How amusing and funny that the Righteous were running around the whole city, looking for something that could be even remotely considered as Pieter's weakness. Funny considering the very thing they sought was more often than not right under their very nose, if pilgrim had any sense in that sponge head of hers with the knowledge she sucks up she would know. Hadn't I told her the story of Pieter and myself? Has not the residents of the city, seen me often by his side despite my current loyalities? Why did our jibing of provoking pilgrim in the church not trigger a sudden conclusion?

Let them look for his weakness for I know it well.

On the subject of Pieter it has occured to me that at the times he wants me I was not willing, and the times I severely ached for my Lord he was too tired. In this respect I feel that our times may not match up again for many months, and will conclude at some point at a later date as it had back in December. Though I rarely take lovers to my bed but when I do I'm still picky on who I choose, that and Picket sometimes is forceablly violent to those who she doesn't approve. (So few so very few). I don't choose her lovers, but she chooses mine... Then again I am tired of making my own mistakes, and perhaps in some small fashion she helps me avoid that. I do not think I can stop loving my Lord anymore than he can stop loving me, and in that last statement I have announced his weakness.

Lulz of the day:

[20:15] Jarne Corvale looks up and around at the people gathered, “There is something wrong with this girl.” he says in a loud voice, the type of one saves for public speaking, “And I believe the only thing that can cure her is my penis.”

Things that happened

Stupid little upstarts...

They will all be crushed eventually either by her or others, she was hoping they would get bored with their rantings. Carry on ranting it only brings more cybers to her door, more cybers for her to recruit and more for the rogues to say she has enslaved.

I had begun to wander the streets once more, to get away from being cooped up in that empty place. I have also sheparded more cybers in some of them new, some of them returning faces in a sea of familar people who returned. Fareabel and Terrox came home at last, but the leadership is still mine. I do not lead with a heavy heart or with a misconcieved perception, I protect my family as I have protected my old one when I was in their ranks.

More often than not I walk alone as always, stricken with my own awkardness and heavy mortality. Sickening this knowledge knowing that I will die again, yet striving to make myself immortal with techonology.

At least recently I been feeling more like my old self, I have weedled out deals either by sheer lieing or being devious. I like that being sneaky saying one thing to then do another, I still had my old skills and no one would know any better. Simply because people trust me more...... Odd city this.

On a side note I suppose I have watched the start of Pilgrim's fall and corruption, just as I said it would happen even when she denied such an event would occur. More the fool of the angel then, more righteous they are the harder they fall anyway. I like watching, when I'm not parcipating. I'm an observer, like my Walker days.

Speaking of notes.....

I remember back when I was a wolf prowling the streets, doing Janvier's bidding though he was really Belial possessing Janvier. Confusing no? Not to me not now, maybe then a bit but I learned since then. I was sent to bring back a human and not just any human, a Righteous one called Vishous. Like myself she became a great Shadow, like myself she became a demon. Yesterday she had it all torn from her she was made human, ripped from everything she had come to know and love. Everything... Sounds familar something I can relate to. Hopefully though Vishous will find herself, maybe stay on the old path maybe go on a new one.

Full circle

Pity mines an oblong.

Lulz of the day:

[17:16] Picket McDonnell giggles and says "I think you like your waffles as much as I like my twinkies" she puts a hand up and says "until they are creamfilled goodness... I'll pass"
[17:16] Blueray Darkes: Try looking in his pants then
[17:16] Picket McDonnell: ha!
[17:16] Keaton nearly chokes

Killing in the name of Terrox

Why should I allow a known trouble maker join my ranks? Why should I simply because she used to serve Terrox?

I don't have to and thus I shall not, I need no other reason than the one I give. Yet this cyber woman is intent on killing me in the name of Terrox, who I might add is a friend of mine even when I was a Shadow.

Sunrayne is an irritant.

Lucky for me that a lot of people wish to hunt her, saves me the hassle of beating her up again. Listen to her and know she can't keep anything straight, I'm a traitor to Shadows and TCs yet I'm a slave of the Shadows. Right that makes a lot of sense, no really it does.

Idiot...

Lulz of the day:

[17:08] Wotan Aeon: "Yeah..you gonna offer me your cookie?"

Flawed

Blueray....

They say she was almost perfect, not quite there but so close to prefection to have it obtained easily in the end. However the ex-demoness had been flawed, the only thing she knew of that made her flawed was emotion.

A human thing a human trait to feel too much and too deep, though it was always her anger that ruled her heart and actions. The need for vengence that drove her, though she showed care to but a few her family she kept great fondness for. Love was a flaw in her own demonic nature, that she would endanger her position and herself to save them. Yes she loved but then all beings have the potential to love, unfortunantly for her she was a bit too open about it.

Flawed...

If she perhaps had less emotion and let her anger, hate and sheer contempt for the scum take her completely, then perhaps she would have been the perfect demon the perfect Shadow. Still flawed as she was she did dedicate her life to them, done exploits that won her renown and hate through out the city; such things she had done and achieved were still spoken about. This was perhaps some good news to her own ears to hear, and the Lord of Shadows still held her in high regard.

Abomination. She knew that she had simply gone from one form of abomination to another, and her desire that was mere greed to return to her old way of life grew to torment her. How she suffered with this on her own finding her own feet, to make the best of the situation using her like of The Continuuim to be their leader. Duty and love do not work together one always has to give, like of something over time can become love to deepen the duty and dedication she now gave to her new family. Blueray is a troubled woman besieged on all sides by past, desire, greed, sorrow, all the guilt she couldn't feel was filled with never-ending loss that made her seriousness seem like a cloud over her head.

Isn't it about time she stopped dwelling on the past? To look forward and forge a future with who and what she had? All the while her body dies from the inside out while the nanites continue to halt, the destruction of her own body cells caused by the infestion of toxins. For all her sins she will never repent or say she was a pure innocent, for all her crimes she would do again over and over.

Reformed... Like fuck.

Completely flawed, but loving it.

Lost.

Troubled.

Yet fully determined.

Lulz of the day:

Brandon: Didn't you block morons sooner than 2007?
Blueray: No... Those were retarded morons

Story time

I return as always to the Toxia docks to take my place as the cyber headfigure, weary and tired from fighting yet rejuvenated to a point. With the release of violence that had built up over time, I found a new calm that had no comparision to it. A raging tempest it seems that needs a violent outlet, some things never really do change at all.

As usual no sooner do I step foot in to the factory, I have dark trouble standing there drawing on my window. Getting out of ear shot of Dolce, me and the dark one went to the waters behind the factory. We spoke with great length, then he left me alone with words that echoed with whispered ferocity.

"I never stopped loving you"

A day later I stopped by the church cornered by Pilgram to discuss Delrith and Vishous, I deftly recruited her for my cause without her knowing it. As if in payment I told the curious angel the history of Dimentox and Toxia, from what I have gathered and also from what I have seen. Bless the little Pilgram she lapped it up and asked for more story telling, she asked for the tale about why Pieter and I are so close. I skipped several details to avoid harming her fragile mind, but told her of the things that he and Shadows had done for me. I think the Lord of Shadows went up a notch in the angel's view, but who can really tell what a mutated pigeon thinks anyhow.

I grew bored with the talk that happened afterwards, and wandered off to do my own things.

Lulz of the day:

Blueray Darkes: I r limpet
Nalen Hamer: Gots to be scraped off?
Nalen Hamer hugs
Nalen Hamer: lol
Blueray Darkes: Thats a whatchamacallit
Blueray Darkes cuddles
Nalen Hamer: barnacle?
Blueray Darkes: Yes
Blueray Darkes: I'm a limpet its different to a barnacle
Nalen Hamer: o.0
Blueray Darkes: Picket just went O.o
Nalen Hamer: went 0.o?
Blueray Darkes: Just pasted what happened
Nalen Hamer: to who?
Blueray Darkes: I pasted convo to Picket
Nalen Hamer: about barnacle?
Nalen Hamer: Sometimes your really vague you know that?

Zaphod - Part Two

Sunup the next day I pull out a small, tiny cube that unfolded and formed my new favourite weapon. The chainsaw sword that I snatched up and placed on my right hip, I made sure it was secure before heading out to join the small group of cybers. They are all that remains of a pocket of resistance, a few tanks and a few overhead heavy duty guns. Not much of a resistance but these fuckers must have put up a hell of a fight, they were still here despite their numbers dwindling.

"Right then the tortoises are the tanks of their army, take them out first then the rest is easy. Lizards are kamikaze idiots while the snake like ones are the swords people. You deal with what you can, our tanks and guns will take out the big shits". Zaphod told me calmly while all around us gear up, cyber parts of various things clicking and locking in to place. I was impressed by their fighting spirit. "What does that blade of yours do"?

I grin, "It makes giblets".

So we waited for the monsters to arrive a dust cloud on the horizon, in its midst they were there stampeding to us in a blood frenzy. Those things wanted to end our existance for good, but we cybers don't die so easily we live through technology. Flicking out another small cube my moterbike was formed out of it, unsheating my sword I lept on to my bike revved the engine and drove in to battle. I suppose if you know about final Fantasy Seven then you can imagine, that I felt a lot like Cloud Strife right now. Standing on my bike I readied my blade leaping in to the air at the first tanking reptile, however I hadn't expected it to be so damn fast. It knocked me out of the air and using my claws in the ground, I skidded up dirt behind me as I tried to stop my backwards motion. Next time I tried that I used its arm to springboard off, landing on its shoulder and slashing my sword across its throat. It bled to death it fell with a loud, earthshattering crash, I jumped off landing on my own feet.

Splattered with blood I went on the offensive leaping on the dieing carcass, my blade cut and it sang the song of war and blood I killed five of their tanks. By that time I was in my own sort of frenzy I saw nothing but red, I ran in to the midst of those monsters me and my sword we sang together. They retreated away I was breathing heavy, exerted covered in blood....

Zaphod told me well done its time to rest.

My systems shut down.

Lulz of the day:

Picket McDonnell: JESUS CHRIST BANANAS!!

Zaphod - Part One

My trips to the mainland had been twice now in the space of a week, the first time was mere exploration. The second time I ended up in some desolate city more run down than Toxia, the buildings were in ruins the stone artichecture crumbling. Place was deserted so I thought anyway, turns out it wasn't the case at all. I was dumpster diving for something to eat, unaware that someone had snuck up behind me. When the first voltage hit me it made my spinal injecters unload the nanites in to me, a second charge then a third til I was on my knees while my circurity overloaded. Whole thing fried to a cinder all the fucking wires, the world goes black the last thing I see is a masked face. Before I pass out completely I feel myself being carried, then I forgot everything else as I succumbed to the forced sleep.

I awoke to find myself chained to some table my legs, left wrist and hand had been removed, the chains attaching around the stumps that were left and around my right wrist. I actually have a metal cap with clasps on each leg stump, it makes it easier to attach the legs and keeps them in place. Briefly I struggled while lamenting the once again familar situation, a hand was pushed on to my chest right over the heart cavity.

"Steady now", gruff male voice hinted with a weary note. "Don't want ya hurting yourself". He left so I turned my head to see where he had gone, the male was board covered in scars a wound that was recent still healing slashed over his back. He had fually cybernectic legs and arms, an eye visor I recognised as something my own wife wore. Whoever he was he seemed old grey of hair, even his shorts or what was left of pants torn and tattered. Yet he moved with the fluidity of youth possibly spurred on by his own nanites, I saw my hand limp in his own then he began to work on it.

"What are you doing"? I asked.

"Fixing this ere circuitry, idiot melted it all together. We'll get it running again, don't ya worry now lass".

I sighed as he was more than likely going to put something fucked up in the subroutines of it, but at least the Hive protected us from that back at Toxia. Without here though..... "Hive won't let you mess up my head".

He grunted refusing to answer.

"Who are you though stranger"? This one was female I recognise her voice, I remember her its her fault I ended up like this freak of nature. I lifted my head and that confirmed it, Zaphod that red headed woman was leaning against a doorframe. Her mask as usual on her face possibly with that cocky grin of hers, I glared at her before letting my head back down. "Blueray, I'm the leader of the continuum. You left me in charge".

A sharp gasp, "Lads let her go she's safe, she aint working for them I know her". After I was sitting on the table edge rubbing at my left arm stump and my leg stumps dangling, she came up to me to look me over see if I wasn't damaged. "You changed a lot since I saw you last, they'll fix your shit up without messing it. How is everything, hows the Hive"?

"Fine and the Hive is fine too", I said back to her. Course she would be worried about the Hive she made it, its like her baby and it acts like one treating her like its mother. Now that I could see around the room it was less a room and more like a caved out dirt hole, a few work benches with parts on them the table I sat on and one barely working med tank. Wow what a fucking dump. It felt croweded with three people in here, I bet it was cramped if there was more in here. Sardines in a tin.... "Where am I"?

Zaphod moved to the guy who was working on my limbs, he started re-attaching them soon as he was done with them. I was grateful for them to be back, I flexed my left hand and kicked my legs. All in working order and better than before.

"You're in my birthplace well not this hovel but the ruins above, my people are here they needed me back". She seemed to twitch, "I lied when I said I lost my arm on the boat, it was actually chewed off by one of the monsters here".

I quirked an eyebrow at her, "That would explain why the Toxia monsters never scared you".

"Heh yeah. Milertary here were playing God, mixing human DNA with that of snakes, lizards and tortoises. They succedded but the creations mutated beyond their control, they escaped the lab they were born in decimating the army and the city's people. They tore down most of the city defence, whatever people they didn't manage to kill they left to die on the streets". She looks at me as if asking me to call her a liar, I refused to say anything so she continued, "Those of us who were already experimenting with technologly in humans became as you see us now, we used the same knowledge to help the dieing to live and they joined with us. We figured the monsters would just escape to the wild and not come back, we were wrong the snakes had far more intelligence than their fellow comrades. They began to breed to gain in numbers, then they attacked us and we been fighting them ever since".

Silence fell then I took a deep breath about to say something after all, when some kid dashes in and blurts that the monsters were on their way.

"Distance"? Zap asked barking her question.

"Be here by sun up tomorrow Ma'am", he was out of breath so it stuttered a bit.

"Well then Blueray, looks like you can help us out while you're here".

Great I thoguht just what I needed, a bloody god damn battle that isn't my own to fight in.

Lulz of the day:

Blueray Darkes: I think the cat just farted.

The hidden monster

Whirr of gears, sound of metal scraping against the ground. Pistons in her new and cumbersome legs groaned in complaint, she walked away from some annoying vampire girl. The cries of "Do you want girl scout cookies"? ringing in her ears behind her, she was heading the small stretch beach that was near the factory. Leaping upwards she landed behind the vampire, her left metal hand lashing out towards her throat gripping around it. Of course vampires don't need to breath but she didn't care it was just to hold her, the cyber woman threw the undead creature to the sand pinning her down with a knee on her chest.

Drawing out her dagger her lips make her grin evily, the vampire girl asking if that is all she has. The blade flashed once under the glint of the dieing sunset, it slid in to the stomach where she began to cut away the flesh. Blood spilled down her sides mixing with the sand under them, still the cyber didn't care using her metal hand to tear away the chunk she had just carved out.

That was when the vampire struck to fight back struggling under the weight of metal and flesh, it was almost too fast to see for an ordinary human but with her enhanced eyes she caught the movement. Her metal wrist smashed against the fangs preventing them from getting near to her throat, punching her on the side of her silly head Blueray shoves her left hand in to the open wound. Tugging out large and small intestines alike dropping them on the ground, the girl tried striking again this time on her right arm. Luckily even though that was all skin and bone she still wore arm guards, can never be too careful in this city of your own form.

With a hiss of pure frustration and anger mostly from the half truths she had been told, she ripped out the vampire's un-used, stomach, liver, kidneys, bladder every organ saving the lungs and heart for last. She crushed the heart in her metal hand as the girl gave up on her existance, picking up her dagger she slashed at the throat the arms the legs. Simply mutilating the corpse for its perfection that she could no longer have, the blood sprayed her since vampires are made mostly of blood instead of water.

Sheathing her dagger Blueray stood her whole front splattered, she once again looked like a macabre thing. Her right hand trails its fingers down her cheek smearing the red stains over her skin, she almost laughed at the fact the thing never screamed. Leaving the area behind her cold, metal eyes were alight with the soft glow of her joy. She had killed and it felt good, there was still some of her old self left. There is no guilt, no remorse, no regret over her horrendous crime.

For those who knew her as she is now, they may never witness the monster she still is. The monster that hides....

Lulz of the day:

[20:07] Blueray Darkes coughs and puts her halo on
[20:08] Sawa Amiot eats Sissy's halo, "Mmm.....tastes like dirty thoughts."

Fire on South beach

Unseen I stood upon the apartments watching the helicopter go past heading for the beach, since the creature had been caught its legs cut off it was immobile. Yesterday there was sloth serum delivered to every faction, good ole Meg so hard working and deligent. It was the serum that got the creature down, used for the benefit of the city. So I thought.

One of the Agents was beaten and dragged to the beach, the other one that was still flying the helicopter tried to get awawy. The thing was shot down and before it exploded the agent lept for his life, only for him to be swarmed by the residents of Toxia. Both agents were dragged to the beach, I moved to the small archway to watch the scene. They were questioned and it was Pieter's voice I heard who whipped the people up in to a frenzy to kill, it was his voice that incited the mainlanders should be burned. All in the name of showing this government they shouldn't have abandoned us, show them what the city is they will die for the mainland's sins.

Agent Hexicola: "Weren't you all mainlanders once"?

His question hung on the murderous air unanswered, my own silent answer was yes we were. Yet here we are calling this hole our home, and here I am unable to stop the deaths about to occur. He didn't beg for his life he asked to go home, slumped over the creature and lamenting about TV. That's when the fire was started the agents and the creature burned, the two human men screamed while their flesh seared and charred. They were burned alive at the stake, though I thrilled at the murder I knew there had to have been a better way. Once the fires died taking the fleeing souls with the flames, I lept from my perch and landed on the sand below. I addressed the mob, asking all those wasn't there a better way than killing them. Pieter piped up telling me not to be retarded, I said when those two don't return to the mainland they will send more. Again it was Pieter who spoke saying then they will deal with them, in the Toxian way and the Toxian fashion. I turned away from them still feigning I was reformed in some way, and I took to the rooftops again.

Turning to where the beach lay a second helicopter flew over, it launched missles at our supply ship blowing it up in a rather large mushroom cloud. Bogac was beside me he saw it too, I whirled on him as I pointed. "See this is it what the actions cost us, we could have had the Coven make up some potions to wipe their minds or the magick peoples to do mind spells". I guess I was seeing the bigger picture I was a thinker after all, the year of being a Shadow taught me to see the waves of consequences of your own actions. Bogac agreed with me but no one thought of it they just wanted the men dead, and now everyone will suffer for the shit they caused to fall on us. The lycan then began to think of ways to defend our city since there will be more to investigate the disappearences, he suggested my cybers could make the weapons needed and he had a large amount of faith in us.

I went to the streets then and just wandered through them, my mind churning with the crisis that was going to happen. Stopping at the garage I saw some Ryders hanging around Duckie, I was invited in I began to talk to them. Duckie had been captive in the hospital so I told him about the ship he uses to get in supplies, I knew about from a few rumours in the city and what Duckie once told me himself. He was distraught if I can put a name to his re-action, I discussed with the Ryder vampires its not just the food you need to worry about. Its the other things everyone uses too such as moter parts, oil, gasoline, ammo, as I listed it off they began to realise what this meant. I gave a few suggestions on how they can help, they got to work on it.

Before I left South Pieter found me sneaking up behind me, his shadow talons gripping my right shoulder and piercing my skin. He threatened me for using sloth serum for the capture, if I didn't stop using it there would be Hell to pay. Remember the Omegan Institute. I should be angry at him for making the mob murder, for bringing this on our heads. Pieter's words run like lava over me, he lulls me saying he misses me.

"I have my memory of us in K-tox, just us and no one else", I said.

Does he want an encore?

I'm not sure but that time those few hours, will never be tainted by the anger, the disappointment, the neglect, the fact he slams his foot down on me when he thinks I got out of line. I'm a different person battling with my darkness, I feel no guilt or remorse for anything I do. Somewhere inside me my desires to do what I used to do to the people, somehow they feel wrong and this makes confliction. I was once feared and hated, I was even desired by the men. Pieter hugs me we talk more after a while he lets me go saying we should move, I tell him I know its because the ex Shadow who was hated shouldn't be seen snuggling with the hated Lord. So he caught me out this time in the game, bad move on my part to let factions use the sloth serum. Like hell I would stop using it if I can get it, just have to be more careful next time. I wasn't a Walker for nothing, I wasn't council for nothing. For all his threats and smooth talking, he has no real hold on me I can do as I please.

I always do as I please, but I will make sure to guard and defend what is mine. Everything can be manupilated to benefit a whole, another lesson I learned well. Hey its not like I'm going to ever become some twisted defender of the city... Fuck that!.

Lulz of the day:

[18:19] Colleen Marjeta realizes she doesn't want to hear about marriages gone bad and crosses the street to chat with very evil shadows instead

[7:53] DCS2 2.34: Van Reinard Armors SELF
[7:54] DCS2 2.34: Van Reinard hurtsThemself

What the hell? A plane crash

Not to many days ago some outsider plane crashed on to the South beach, surprising really because I never seen one before. Whoever piloted it was dead and gone, only blood smears left on an empty crate. A kitty recovered the black box handed it to me, I in turn gave it to Meili who ran it to the factory to be cracked open. Once we got the recording it was run to K-Tox, played on air it sounded like something got lose and ate the humans. Unlike the others I didn't shiver or show a sign of horror, I felt a small thrill down my spine relishing what had happened.

I'm still dark no point denying that but my reputation of being feared, that has been lost along with a lot of things I was used to. The city was spending a lot of time seeing if they can find out what was on the plane, it was seen a few time and then the outsiders came to our home. In erm what did they call it? A heli.. copter... Agents of some sort come to collect the thing in the crate, I saw one of them they didn't seem to be comfortable in this place. Who would be unless they were like us who live here?

Pieter visited the factory again this time to use the computers, he was looking up things on distilling and purifying fluids. I questioned him on that but he didn't give me a direct answer, I didn't expect him to since its Shadow business. We hugged before he left me, whispering he wants me in my ear. I went to the window to watch him as he walked on the street, I turned away; for all that he said it wasn't me he needed.

The outside creature had killed Delphina, a Shadow I had known briefly. Or she used to be a Shadow, she left about the same time as Picket did. I didn't want to get samples from her it pained me to do so, I allowed others to get what they needed. In the meantime I got some information from an old friend, that my family was being accused of making the creature. Apprently forty five years ago the TCs had done genetic experiments, this would explain the tanks and cloning facilaties. We had nothing to do with it, he covered my arse and I in turn covered his. Always were a good team, I can see why she loves him so.
~
Despite the upheavel of the agents and the thing they made, the day was rather peaceful. Surprising I would have thought the residents would be out hunting it, unless they can find its nesting place I guess the hunt for the thing can wait til its den is found. Joy. On this peaceful day I stomped my way in to Haven, gave Cosmo a brief greeting and took over at the dj booth. This is familar something I did even when I was a Shadow, to spin whatever music I feel like on K-Tox. Haven was packed full of people, I gave them songs to party to. A small, brief feeling of joy to hide under, while I view Kitteh and Pieter speaking to one another on the second floor. Right after my shift I headed for the rooftops my metal hooves clomping on the concrete under them, going South I remained oppersite of the Fishco to watch a small scuffle. A male demon mentioned something about discord, I sighed because the chaos was all I needed not too long ago.

Still I adjust for this new human body this mortality, I want to live and keep on living. To make sure that I will always carve my presence in to every century, and the only way to do it so far is to go the full cyberised route.

Lulz of the day:

I will occasionally listen to and follow my advisor's advice. - Evil overlord list

Explore

In an effort to understand my new family and my new self a bit better, I took myself and Picket over to the mainland. From there we met up with a demon who supplied us both with teleportation spells embedded in stones, the first of which took us to what was known as The Wastelands.

And it is exactly what the name implies, it is a wasteland with sand as far the eye can see. Scattered about are a few dwellings, and mostly piles of scrap metal here, there and everywhere. Seems that the whole thing about cybers is that they scavange, and this was after all the place where the first cyber that stumbled in to Toxian City came from. Picket and I got bored she decided to go home, I however got a call patched in to me from Terrox.

Using the stones we were given I went to Ayin, Picket went back to the factory. In the cyber base of Ayin I was greeted by Terrox, he seems to be doing well for himself in this place and is well established. I told him of the few things that were going on with the TC's and in Toxia, until there was some disturbance downstairs of the place. Interesting that they have tanks where they grow fetuses in, of course I was more interested in gutting in them than letting the things live. A couple of demons had ripped one of the babies out and the female was eating it, Terrox says there is some sort of deal with them. Demons eat what they don't experiment on, and they have to do some things for the cyber group in order to get fed. Unfortunantly they had damaged the tank and Terrox was fuming at them, he got called out though to some further dispute outside. I took that time to leave and head home.

Lulz of the day:

[17:47] DCS2 2.45.2: Carlos Bosatsu is full of fail and ends up accidentally stabbing himself

... Stop

She did not flee from the Pit more like she walked calmly away, a few words with Kytara is all she needed before moving on. The few Shadows who accepted her and accepted her place she cherished, the rest were nothing more than creatures snapping at her heels. It was their torments that shattered her, their torments which would have stopped her remaining as a Shadow.

If only Jason could see that if only he could understand that, the pain he gives her with his heated words. She only wanted to make him realise she didn't deserve to suffer in the Pit, that it would have been the end of her. All he can do is call her traitor, demean her in front of Kytara so they battle with meaningless words.

"I should have left you in Hell".

She didn't mean it as in regret more like foresight, she said it out of anger due to the fact he rather treat her like scum. A real traitor would have just struck using their knowledge, instead she only made a strike when they had striked first. These are no actions of a coward either, simply the actions of a woman surviving against the odds.

Why can't you accept me?

Lulz of the day:

[5:36] Goa Sin: ha, look what I got mine to say "I WILL END YOUR WORLD AND YOU KNOW IT! BWAAHH! *LAZERS*"
[5:37] Carlos Bosatsu: XD!
[5:38] Carlos Bosatsu: the day a penguin shoops whoop is the day Blue says "im asexual"
[5:38] Goa Sin: lol
[5:39] Carlos Bosatsu: oook i think the penguine is lost in my hair...
[5:39] Carlos Bosatsu: hrm nope
[5:39] Goa Sin: forget that, it's in your head
[5:39] Carlos Bosatsu: nooooo!
[5:40] Goa Sin: THE PENGUINS ARE IN MY HEAD AND TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!
[5:40] Carlos Bosatsu: I KNEW THEY COULDNT BE TRUSTED!

Where does that leave us now?

She stands in the factory looking out over the city through the dirty window, before turning from it to do a small routine patrol. Only she was called back because of a demon a sniper rifle pointed to Dolce's head, typical of the scene for it to be Jason. Momentary flinching the gun at her own head now, she tries to calm the situation. Jason tells her straight she should have come to the Pit, not spread rumours about him around the city.

Blueray pointed out that anything she said about him using Meili as bait and threatening her, was documented on a tape and was thus fact. They made a deal she stops the rumours he doesn't kill her new people, he said he had beaten up a Convenite. Terms are set and of course the hot headed detective didn't like it, they lacked everything from fighters to members. He wanted to fight he wanted her to use all she knew against them, she couldn't do that she just couldn't and she needed to protect the cybers. Detective stormed out enraged at her because of her decision, she knew deep down she had made the right one and after talking to Dolce on several matters she left for the streets. Good thing she came across Calleigh then, and it was Calleigh who confirmed Jason said the same thing about her faction. Seems someone is pulling strings and for once it wasn't her, his lie was laid bare he hadn't touched a Covenite at all. Typical.

From the alleyway to the beach she walked side by side with a human male, a male she dropped fast when the old call came from home. She didn't think on it she didn't need to, and there he sat in her factory the Lord of Shadows. Her lord. Blueray's heart beat faster in her chest, out of fear for what he might do to her. He cut her off she changed tactics their conversation had bumps in it, she had been edgy for days from the attacks all she wanted was it to stop. Pieter said he wouldn't stop them he wouldn't help them either, it was between her and those three so she was trying to keep the factions out of it. Just wished that detective saw that, that she knew best for the safety of all.

Once more she was standing by the window looking out down South, it was hard enough to keep the cybers trust without being seen with Pieter. The choice is yours he said, go against us or stay a friend. Business is business they both know that, the old rule family before friends. Guess both sides needed to adjust, her to being how she is and the Shadows for losing her. No matter how she tried to shut it out she still loved Pieter, they were okay again not in the same place as before but somewhere different. And when he left he called her Bluebie his pet name he chose for her, and to his leaving figure she whispers "Walk in the Shadows".

Where does that leave us now?

I wish I knew...

Lulz of the day:

[0:14] DCS2 2.42: GrrBrool Lykin OOC: my lady wife laughed . . ..
[0:15] DCS2 2.42: Lorne Harlequin OOC: and what about your male wife? Did he laugh too?
[0:15] DCS2 2.42: GrrBrool Lykin OOC: he logged . .. .