He was hungry

After deciding to dub in the demon who claims that Vulcan is like his brother, I had argued with Seto who didn't want to be a demon and was whining about it. Ah good ole Pix she has to tell me my body may not be demon, but my mind hadn't lost any of its demonic qualities. He agreed to meet me at the factory and give me a world of pain, how unfortunate for him that I paralised him with some strange fluid and strapped him down to the med bed.

I took Seto apart feeding the body parts to Skyler, my brother was hungry and eager to eat what I offered. When there wasn't much left I shoved hir in to the tank to fix hir up, made hir in to a cybernectic and oooh look hir problem was solved. No more demon. He was still hungry I took him to the butcher shop, and he ate it all then I took him to go find Ragein for a little revenge. After I had chased down another angel, Skyler had eaten his left leg.

All in all a good day's chaos for me and I felt, well fuck it I felt like me more than ever. When I was finally alone in the factory before I powered down for sleep, I bought myself to a much needed orgasm. Upon the release I fell in to sleep a smile on my lips, I had done something that wasn't cyber like. I was still a Shadow at heart.

Lulz of the day:

[13:04] Narah Ihnen: gah I hate it when moths do that
[13:05] Blueray Darkes: Moths?
[13:05] Narah Ihnen: you go to smoosh them and they just.. poof
[13:05] Blueray Darkes: LOL
[13:05] Blueray Darkes: Poor moth
[13:05] Narah Ihnen: LoL
[13:05] Narah Ihnen: it shouldn't flap in my face
[13:06] Blueray Darkes: You shouldn't pretend to be a light bulb?
[13:06] Narah Ihnen: LMAO
[13:06] Narah Ihnen: thats just my ass
[13:06] Narah Ihnen: XD
[13:06] Blueray Darkes: Damn girl
[13:07] Narah Ihnen: the sun shines out my backside you know
[13:08] Blueray Darkes: I can get warm by your ass o.o
[13:08] Narah Ihnen: yus XD

SPAWN

Shattered from being upset, all raged out and pretty much sunk in to a rut. I took the human route of drinking down my sorrows, I was mad at Picket and proberly would be for a while. Mad at the stupid angel who fed her his stupid addictive blood, I hated the world and everything in it but that was nothing new at all.

Inside the Haven I gathered up the bottles of vodka drinking them one by one, emptying their burning contents down my throat. I became perfectly blissfully drunk back when I drank after the dungeon event, only I had no dumbass traitor Kumori yelling at me to stop. I think I talked about how idiotic Vulcan was with some guy who was there, someone who admitted to being a Shadow and left before Janvier took over. When I blurted out about going to Coven to get Skyler bought back, he was fucking upset that the vampire was dead and gone. Well duh its why I been drinking.....

I walked or well staggered to the Pit to find a newly spawned demonic Skyler in the lava, I cried then cried like a stupid, drunk human and told him if I could mean it I would tell him I was sorry. Those words have no meaning because I can't feel the emotion behind them, for once I actually wished I could mean it because I failed my brother. *Even if I do want to jump his bone* He didn't understand most of what I said, but he looked sad and kept saying sorry. I told him it was me who failed to look after him, and he just disagreed with me I took him home with me to the factory.

Gods if only I had Pieter here now I wouldn't be such a mess, I kept Skyler with me til he wandered off to the Haven to dance as if its the only thing he could remember to do. I think all I needed was some comfort but I wouldn't turn to my wife for it, and Pieter was on the other plain he goes to; to recharge. I was alone, lost and drunk so I dragged my sorry ass home, looks like I got my work cut out for me to teach Skyler how to shift shape. Good times and at the factory I drank some more, celebrating by myself one big fucking mess... I'm gonna be...

*the rest seems to be squiggly lines as if the writer, had tried to carry on writing and passed out while doing so*

Lulz of the day:

Somewhere along the line mentioning cake and fat kids, brought us to the conclusion that Orcs have sex with baby goats then turn them in to stew! o.o

And then I hated her

When you hate the sister you love and married, there has to be a damn good reason for it. My reason was justified when I hated her and kicked her, my reason was justified and no one would fault me for it at all.

My sisterwife had killed my adopted brother, the one I considered as an older brother and looked up to. One I sought for time after time when the world got on top of me, and there he would be to reassure me for the better. Now he was ash nothing but ash on the ground.

I can't bear to look at her I can't even bear to be near her, so I'm avoiding her trailing through the city like a lost dog. If I was a demon I wouldn't be crying over him, I would instead be having an angry rampage slaughtering people. Humans are different they re-act differently, I know Picket didn't have any control but that doesn't make it feel any better.

Suppose I can hope that he comes back in some fashion, lots of people come back all the time in Toxia and normally as different things. In my belt pouch I carry with me a vial of Skyler's blood I had saved, and in my mind I carry the memories of the times I spent with Skyler.

No I can't hate Picket forever and I can't feel bad for hurting her either, so I got this strange hole where guilt was meant to be but instead it gnawed and ached in a sense. I know how I'm meant to feel, I didn't even remember how it was meant to feel.............

Come back brother dear

Lulz of the day:

[20:54:03] CP: 5 minutes..........
[20:54:04] CP: .....
[20:54:07] CP: ..........
[20:54:09] CP: ..
[20:54:09] CP: .....
[20:54:12] CP: ..---.
[20:54:18] CP: ..---... -. ..-..
[20:54:30] CP: .. ---....---. ..-. .-.-. .-....---..
[20:54:36] Blueray Darkes: o-o
[20:54:42] Blueray Darkes sends out Pacman
[20:54:50] CP shoots him

Monster revealed

A day ago we had some human supernatural in our base, chained down to the table and in the name of medical research I brutilised them. Odd that she suddenly became a he but then this is Toxia, and for once around my family I could shed the mask. I revelled in dishing out the breakages, the cuttings and they were around me watching with predatory grins. Flesh is a design the unified voice whispered, flesh is weak and so are the ones we experiment on.

Its been far too long since I talked about technique, Fareabel and myself had one of those talks to see if we could out do eachother. I enjoyed it and I was finally able to show my true nature to my family, though I think that underneath some of them perhaps hate me or fear me for it.

Yesterday though.............. Yesterday my sisterwife on her own request was turned vampire by Pieter, and all of Kaira's damn white fur pissed me off so I shoved her in to Picket's spilled blood. Ooh and that got the little kitty chained to the alter by Picket, and subsequently tortured by her and by myself. Nothing as satisfying as hearing someone scream in agony when you caused it, I think her mind broke before her spirit and will did. This is good for then she will be another monster, something akin to myself and yet I know she will come for me. I'm not afraid let her come, let her enjoy doing to me what I did to her. Pieter healed her though gifted her again, one more chance to walk with Shadows.

You can throw yourself in to the place where you are, but is it truely where you want to be?

I am the monster revealed no longer in hiding, time turns and I bide my time. I have helped create a monster, I will nurture her hate as I have nurtured mine.

Lulz of the day:

[9:49] Picket McDonnell's Tentacle Pet: Oh my FUCKING GOD! You didn't just poke me in the EYE?!?!?! DAMNIT! Does that LOOK like a cock to you, Skyler! Jeeeeeze that HURT!

Return of Skyler

During the week a lot has happened the main event or the main event in my own concern, is that Skyler returned to Toxia for a longer time than a mere few hours. In fact he has been here all week, and I have enjoyed his company just as much as I used to before. Admittedly most of it was stirring up the Righteous, Skyler worshiped a pew I got a bolter to the head and their distrust. To be around at the same time as Pieter, seems to get me in to far more trouble than I at first thoought. In all honesty I should have expected that anyway, but that doesn't change the fact some think I am in cahoots with the Lord of Shadows.

Am I? I'll let you find out that for yourself, its more fun that way.

Most of the week I spent with Skyler was him being a dork, and dancing down in the Haven since its what he wanted to do. There was also the small event of Pieter trying to rape Pilgrim again, with the Righteous being idiots and risking her existence.

Calleigh was killed but the one who did it was tortured and ran down for harming Pieter's daughter, pity I missed that would have been something for me to see. Pieter also will be getting on the act, bet I miss that too.

Martko from the Righteous battled with me, he broke my heart plate that I needed to fix and I did so by covering it in metal. Skyler visited me at the factory wishing to see my new home, though he says I am lost but not too far lost so I can't find my way back to my old family.

So thats the run down of dancing, of silliness, of stirring up trouble, of my older brother. Even though he says its his fate to be alone, I had to tell him long as he's my family he will never walk alone.

Family walks together no matter if we're blood or not, family walks together even when we're not in the same places as before.

Lulz of the day:

[11:40] Maribelle Beliveau: How did we get from gaming to porn? O.o
[11:40] FangSnowpaws Yoshiyuki: cause porn is gaming with your private parts
[11:41] Maribelle Beliveau laughs

There is a dawn even when its not seen

Righteous again, the Righteous impaling Jason upon the spike outside the church. Not many months ago it was a Righteous, who had tied a rope around Jason's neck and hung him. I used a lot of energy and effort in to the ritual circle, I used my blood and Dev's I ripped off Dev's wings. It was I and the Shadows who lent their energy, that bought Jason back from Hell and to have that almost wrecked by a hot headed wolf.

Lets say I was not amused at all and I was angry at the fact, that so much work would be so easily wiped out. In protest I made it my personal issue I faced Martko, we agreed to meet up later when neither of our families could be dragged in or have interference from Pix.

I stood waiting in the late hours of the night with what few stars I could see in the Toxian sky, atop the Private Dick building until Martko arrived. We discussed the situation of what had occured, another person telling me to cut my ties to the past. It was long winded and my original violence had receeded in to quiet seething, he understood where I was coming from unlike that idiot Pix. I made him offer me a favour that I can call in at anytime and in any fashion, he agreed to this and offered me a blue rose that I briefly cherised since nothing lasts here.

Once he was gone I turned my attention to the church, I was right that if Pieter wanted to he would be back for more trouble. How amusing and funny that the Righteous were running around the whole city, looking for something that could be even remotely considered as Pieter's weakness. Funny considering the very thing they sought was more often than not right under their very nose, if pilgrim had any sense in that sponge head of hers with the knowledge she sucks up she would know. Hadn't I told her the story of Pieter and myself? Has not the residents of the city, seen me often by his side despite my current loyalities? Why did our jibing of provoking pilgrim in the church not trigger a sudden conclusion?

Let them look for his weakness for I know it well.

On the subject of Pieter it has occured to me that at the times he wants me I was not willing, and the times I severely ached for my Lord he was too tired. In this respect I feel that our times may not match up again for many months, and will conclude at some point at a later date as it had back in December. Though I rarely take lovers to my bed but when I do I'm still picky on who I choose, that and Picket sometimes is forceablly violent to those who she doesn't approve. (So few so very few). I don't choose her lovers, but she chooses mine... Then again I am tired of making my own mistakes, and perhaps in some small fashion she helps me avoid that. I do not think I can stop loving my Lord anymore than he can stop loving me, and in that last statement I have announced his weakness.

Lulz of the day:

[20:15] Jarne Corvale looks up and around at the people gathered, “There is something wrong with this girl.” he says in a loud voice, the type of one saves for public speaking, “And I believe the only thing that can cure her is my penis.”

Things that happened

Stupid little upstarts...

They will all be crushed eventually either by her or others, she was hoping they would get bored with their rantings. Carry on ranting it only brings more cybers to her door, more cybers for her to recruit and more for the rogues to say she has enslaved.

I had begun to wander the streets once more, to get away from being cooped up in that empty place. I have also sheparded more cybers in some of them new, some of them returning faces in a sea of familar people who returned. Fareabel and Terrox came home at last, but the leadership is still mine. I do not lead with a heavy heart or with a misconcieved perception, I protect my family as I have protected my old one when I was in their ranks.

More often than not I walk alone as always, stricken with my own awkardness and heavy mortality. Sickening this knowledge knowing that I will die again, yet striving to make myself immortal with techonology.

At least recently I been feeling more like my old self, I have weedled out deals either by sheer lieing or being devious. I like that being sneaky saying one thing to then do another, I still had my old skills and no one would know any better. Simply because people trust me more...... Odd city this.

On a side note I suppose I have watched the start of Pilgrim's fall and corruption, just as I said it would happen even when she denied such an event would occur. More the fool of the angel then, more righteous they are the harder they fall anyway. I like watching, when I'm not parcipating. I'm an observer, like my Walker days.

Speaking of notes.....

I remember back when I was a wolf prowling the streets, doing Janvier's bidding though he was really Belial possessing Janvier. Confusing no? Not to me not now, maybe then a bit but I learned since then. I was sent to bring back a human and not just any human, a Righteous one called Vishous. Like myself she became a great Shadow, like myself she became a demon. Yesterday she had it all torn from her she was made human, ripped from everything she had come to know and love. Everything... Sounds familar something I can relate to. Hopefully though Vishous will find herself, maybe stay on the old path maybe go on a new one.

Full circle

Pity mines an oblong.

Lulz of the day:

[17:16] Picket McDonnell giggles and says "I think you like your waffles as much as I like my twinkies" she puts a hand up and says "until they are creamfilled goodness... I'll pass"
[17:16] Blueray Darkes: Try looking in his pants then
[17:16] Picket McDonnell: ha!
[17:16] Keaton nearly chokes