Its that holiday cheer

With the ritual of trying to get rid of my shadow's sentience going wrong and backfiring, I spent a week flat against walls and grounds watching my shadow in my place. Course the damn thing didn't care about the goings on inside the family, it complained about being expected to be an officer.

It had gotten in to conversation with an ice demon who is called Omen and a follower of grandfather Belial, I was annoyed because Omen believes I should be nestled in the arms of the Brood. Saying there is call inside me that I refuse to listen to, but with a Lord's guidence my madness and violence can be siphoned off can be controlled. The talk rolled on to the fact I didn't need to serve a Lord in order to respect them, my temper got the better of me for there is nothing that Belial has done for me other than drop us like a hot potato. When I say us I mean myfather that also includes myself, I did take heed of some of the words for my lessons on demons had been few. Few and yet they had stuck with me even with my moving from the toxic dump to Lost Angels, never submit to never have a master for no demon has one. I do wander if there is a call deep inside me, if there is I will find a way to silence it. I do not mingle well with my own kind, yes I can speak with them when I'm calm but even then I can only stand so much time with them.

Far too different, but perhaps far too much the same?

To give me a break from being dis-placed we went to visit Toxian City, my visit as always short and to remind those I still call friend that I do still exist that I have not perished yet. Seeing those who are Shadows bow before the current Lord of the House and even use his title, sickens me to my very core that my tongue would start verbally lashing at them. Shadows do not bow or at least are not meant to, for respect can be shown without such submissive actions. It also reminds me of the Brood how every demon will submit to those who are ranked higher than them in their ranks, using titles and always asking for permission to leave their presence in much the same as the vampire Coven do. Disgusting. Once more I was asked to return to stop being the Shadows critic and instead be their sister, several of them murmered agreement to this but I refused as I always do. For those of us who left under Pieter's banner, most had returned to the Pit and I remain in LA with my family. Happy and mostly content. I can't visit the place that often for one I can't stomach it often and two I'm extremely busy, either dealing in body parts for the market or various other things connected to Archiac Redemption.

I never stay at the bottom.

I have retaken my place from my shadow I have been starving for a week, my form became its hunger form and I was unleashed upon the streets. Streets are empty I took to the outskirts of the city to hunt in greener areas, I found several animals to devour eating their bodies and their fear. This was after our own Tony (not Bouchard) fed me some meat from the freezer. I wanted to talk to Avian and Jessica ask them what they think demons do, ask about the demons they follow for I find myself now confused. Contracts are another thing that bother me completely, Brood demons are always making contracts rather than doing things on their own accord. I asked an imp once why he needed a contract in order to guard a door, why couldn't he just do it by himself without being told? The imp had no answer.

Chaos requires no contracts and neither does loyality... I won't let Omen convince me to leave my family and join his, I refuse to be among the common Succubus and Incubus with their puffed up and self proclaimed titles. As a royal blood even though I was made in to a demon, by heritage and right alone I'm higher than them. Strange how I was meant to be lower but a turn in events proved to be in my favour, father didn't want competation but I have a better grasp on most of my powers than he does now. Simply because I learn, I like to learn.

Well the human holiday of Christmas is upon us again, ugh the good will to all men is a horrible and disgusting concept. I hate I mean I really hate Christmas I hate the way everyone is so happy, or they want to be nice and helpful it's sick it's gross. People need to stop spreading their cheer and their goodwill around, go take it and shove it up their ass its a humanity ridden and terrible thing. Give me Halloween any day of the year but Christmas... Christmas needs to fucking burn and cease to exist, I swear I will fucking kill anyone who wishes me a merry christmas. FUCK OFF! Stupid fucking humans and their stupid holidays, hey that doesn't stop us making horror scenes with snowmen and decorating a tree with intestines.

I would like to spend some of the holiday with Picket...

Lulz of the day:

[16:29] Blueray Darkes: [My first came on that 64 was Hangman and astronaut]
[16:30] Blueray Darkes: [game*]