Resignations and Murders

The new year got ushered in quietly sad to say but I suppose that's the way of things sometimes, I think I was busy doing reports or something so I was knee deep in work. I got a few spare moments this morning to do my journal updates, I need to get down some thoughts that I can't express anywhere else.

Earlier this month I finally clashed with Xanith down in the subway, our fight was rather bitter and neither side won but he fled first. I would like to point this out again that Xanith fled first, our swords are a horrible thing to each other and to other Celestials. We both needed healing since we fucked each other up pretty bad, I couldn't fight for a week afterwards but I'm sure I'll fight him again some time.

Now for the important news I guess... A couple of weeks ago the Exalted managed to capture Alastor by springing a trap, its the only way I can imagine they got him as he's a formidable opponent. They wanted revenge for the murder of Shiloh, they pinned it on Alastor without any actual evidence. I remember the fight well enough trying to keep him, I was tackled by an angel who swung a hammer at me and I ultimately failed to save Alastor. They had also taken Oriax but he managed to escape at a later date, Kane hadn't organised the patrols yet so three of us went up there to get the stone man down. I heard him crying on our comm despite the order for radio silence. I remember before that silence too, Alastor spoke to me he said he expected great things of me. There's nothing like his words to put pressure on a woman to succeed.

We had a meeting during that week to figure out how to get our General back, people came up with good ideas even Leif did. We went with Leif's idea of talking to the new Legatus Priel, if that didn't work we had back up plans. Somewhere along the line Leif had Shiloh resurrected by Crio, said he would be a distraction for the Exalted if they didn't turn up with Alastor. Come the day of the trade the angels were all on edge, soon as Shiloh showed himself they went nuts started attacking all of us. In that midst of chaos the army worked well without much direction, Lizbeth and Bronson got Alastor away from the battle soon as he was bought to the scene. When he had him safe in the manse the order to fall back was issued, most of us made it away a few however had been waylaid by three lycans. Lycans of all fucking things I don't like them much as they're hard to fight being stronger than most other races, since we weren't allowed to leave anyone behind and I was the only one left after hammer boy flew off I dove in to help them. I think if it hadn't have been for Oriax who took Ashe to safety, some of us wouldn't have made it back to the manse even Lizbeth came back to find out why were slacking. Yeah she saw the lycans too and knew why I stayed, eventually the dogs called themselves off something about if the angels can't fight their own battles then they shouldn't have to either.

Re-grouping at the manse was a task but we managed it, Oriax bought Ashe straight to the yard and Zekkiel got to work on her mauled throat right away. All the vampire healers by now had been strained enough with the amount of injuries people suffered, I couldn't help but feel terrible for that the last battles went fine with barely a scratch on us all. I had gone wrong somewhere and my family laid battered and wounded around the manse lobby, as usual there's no time to linger on the emotions that come for there's work to do so I focus on that. Syrin says we should start patrols around the manse in case the lycans struck, Lizbeth and I agreed though I reckoned the lycans wouldn't attack the manse at all. Patrols were organised. Meanwhile Alastor was being healed up some by a fleshcrafter called Lin, Lin also gave me a new finger since that hammer angel crushed mine off during Alastor's capture. It was sickening and depressing to see the General in such a state the angels had put him in, but he was recovering and I could easily relate the suffering he was going through. After all that vacation at the lycan den wasn't all it was cracked up to be. He relied heavily on Leif I also think he looked for Shiloh among our numbers but he had flown off, Lizbeth gave Alastor an update and he comforted me somewhat before he left.

I only saw him once the following week, he had run off before I could ask about his health.

Friday rolls around again and Alastor had called for a council meeting, we attended as we should for we were all eager to strike against the Exalted in revenge for what was done to our General. I... Well not just me we all were worried about him when he was imprisoned, but we pulled together we managed to get through it. The news we wanted was never uttered instead he gave up his resignation, saying the mental damage that had been done is unable to  heal right now. Alastor informed us he would be taking over Asylum club and we can still talk to him, so he would still be around in Charm and we can all visit. Well he did own that club... The goodbyes were tearful from us all and Damon walked out early, I can't get my head around that guy I don't understand him. Before Alastor left I hugged him tight he returned it and said I would do great things, that's twice now he has mentioned that. Vasha said it too at one point on the day I first met her.

History has repeated itself with Alastor now having left his position we are leaderless, thus the Abadons have taken charge of the Nephilim until a new one is appointed. When I joined the faction Sasha or Kesasha had been torn apart by the Exalted leaving the three Abaddons in charge, one of them was a complete idiot telling us to all whore ourselves out. We lost members for his stupidity and he was eventually driven out. Annika became General after that I had worked in the Fury department under her and Samuel for some time now, I was extremely fond of them both and they were happy with my work. When Samuel left it was then that Alastor was introduced to us as her new second in command, I remember the constant fighting we had because we never saw eye to eye at the time. Not long after Annika left I suppose she missed Samuel that much she went to find him, though I wanted to break over it Alastor kept me and the faction working. I know everyone will be upset about his leaving but he's not disappeared like Annika did and he's not dead like Kesasha even though she came back, the family has to be kept moving forwards to make sure we show no weakness regardless of what we feel. Even I can not show what I feel or the other Abaddons for we need to be the example and all of us need to lead, letting everyone linger on the feeling of loss would only stagnate us and make us targets.

I believe not all agree with that way of thinking...

Alastor taught me that the family should always come first, your personal feelings don't factor in to the safety and health of the whole.

On this same day more terrible news arrived at our doorstep, Pusher the newest childe of Zekkiel had been murdered by a mage. Her loss will be felt by all of us who called that woman friend, Zekkiel's of course will be the hardest of us all for he turned her to stop her death once already. Voltaire, Syrin and myself went to hunt down this mage, we found him yesterday and captured him. It was harder than we thought it would be though we were cordinated well, the mage had a knack for escaping that seemed almost impossible. Eventually he was taken to the manse underground and caged, while we waited for Zekkiel to appear Sorrow shared with me a porn book and her penis obsession. Syrin and Voltaire had already began torture when the prince showed up, he looked terrible his emotions felt even worse. I have never felt coldness and emptiness from him before, I can only imagine the pain he's going through. Pusher lost her soul when she got turned, but even if she had it there would be no where for it go. There is no afterlife.

Pusher will be avenged!

Alastor will be avenged when we have a new general to lead us, and perhaps then I can return to being just a mere soldier. However I doubt that will happen I need to suceed, I need to not let him down or the Generals before him. And to not let the down the Generals who will come after him.

My Emperor I will not fail you again.